GENESIS
God, I ask of you to minister first and foremostly into the worship team today.
And God, I also ask of your presence to fill the room today. Let every harden heart be soften, let every harden heart be revived.
God, if you dont move today, nothing will happen.
People hearts cant be renewed nor refreshed.
Jesus, please I ask of you to move BIG time tomorrow.
And God, prepare me.
GENESIS-will be our turning point!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXV9h-mLRmw
(Sorry, I absoulutely have no idea how to load videos onto wordpress, so shall just leave the link there)\
I was greatly amazed at how much enery that was coming out from these kids whom were praising Jesus. Also, I believe the worship leaders on stage are purely just teens and it must have took alot of stamina etc to jump and sing and praise Jesus at the same time. It must have been no mean feat that anyone could simply pull off. Wow, I’m ashamed.
Do we even praise Jesus like them?
Also, I was just glancing through the comments that viewers leave under the videos and I’m really troubled by the fact that there are viewers who leave comments saying things like “Believing in Jesus means you wont go to hell, theres nothing for you to lose.” Or “So that when you die, you wont go to hell!”
I mean yes I agree that we have nothing to lose, but I dont agree that just by believing means we’ll go to heaven. It takes action too. Faith without action is nothing.
It doesnt mean that just because we took that one sinner’s prayer in our life asking Jesus to come into our hearts, means we’ll go to heaven.
Right?
I’ve failed expectations.
And I really have no gift of leadership.
Jesus, I really need the heart and the skills.
I really dont know what eles I can dooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Jesus, I want to live up to your expectations.
This is my calling and I’ll just do it according to God’s will.
I don’t have to do what’s deemed “right” in the eyes of the world, I just have to do what’s right in God’s eyes.
I know these lives under my care is not a mistake and I’ll not let God be disappointed.
I will live to carry your compassion
And I will live to carry your compassion, to love the world thats broken.
Jesus, I need your compassion.
Just that 1% will do.
Its has been a really “roller coaster” week.
The week started really stressful for me, I had tons of homework to complete. And it really doesn’t help when I dont have the kind of mind that straight away understands everything. My mind works in such a way that I have to read through the questions over and over again, and analyse and really think through what the question is really asking for etc before attempting to answer or do the questions. Especially on tuesday, I had such a long day at school already. And I had to shepherd two sheeps after school, wow to be honest- I was really really drained after shepherding the first one. I couldn’t minister well to my next sheep, and I had to continuously ask God for strength and the annointment to really be able to speak to my sheep throughout the entire session. I think I really gave myself away that time. Anyway, on wednesday I had chemistry lesson which required us to hand up a piece of homework which had alot of questions that I don’t really know how to do. So on tuesday night I HAD to do that piece of work. I started my work quite late and I lasted till around midnight. But as I was writing, I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and I know I had to go and nap a little while. So I did, and wow! I woke up at 2.45am leh! So I thought ohwell should just continue sleeping and I set my alarm to wake up at 4.5oam to continue to do my chemistry hw. BUT i somehow or rather just switched off my alarm unknowingly when it rang. So as my mummy was heading to work, she called me up and at that instant I jumped out of my bed and looked at my phone’s timing. I immediately went ” HUHUH!!!! 6am already!!!!!!??” I was filled with alot of fear that time I guess? So I went to wash up and it was that time that I broke down. Haha, no seriously I guess its just because I havent really completed my chemisty hw plus some other hw which were really important. I felt the immediate stress right at that point of time. But I knew I had to go back to God, so I spent some moments talking to Him and He certainly have my a peaceful heart.
Anyway my point after such a naggy story is that-God totally brought me through all my dark times- He assured me every single time that he was with me and that no matter what, as long as I gave my best academically-thats all that matters.
On a brighter note, I had a really good day today! The week may not have started out well, but it certainly ended well. I really love school, I hadn’t had this feeling since such a LONG time. I really love the presence of the people sitting around me, as well as the presence of my close friends in class. I love the 45mins that I get to spend with my best friends in school. I love the 45 mins where we just sit down and though sometimes none of us utter a word, the feeling of still knowing that you’ll see them in the canteen every single time you come down for recess excites me after a half day of school. I love how true each of them is-none of us have to put on a front infront of each other. I love how these 45mins can be spent just showing how vulnerable each of us is. I love how I always get to monkey around with people during recess. Or simply just waving/nodding/greeting to hi-bye friends. I love how I always have someone to sit with after school to eat lunch together with. I love the time spent with my sheepmate once a week or so after school. I love the time when I do duties, because I get to interact with my fellow councillors again. WOW, I really really really feel so blessed just through all these little things.
I’m trying to give my best in my studies since this term started(I’ve wasted 2 entire terms!)-and I know God sees my effort! I will glorify Him in my studies!
Also, I had a fruithful time spent with my mummy today. We simply just met up for dinner and perhaps due to my bro’s absence? i kinda had my mummy all to myself kind of thing. I tried to honour her through little things like offering to buy her food for her but yeah given my mom’s attitude-she’ll rather I sit down and have my dinner while she goes around looking for things to eat. So that didnt worked out too well! But I managed to really have a really good talk with her after dinner. We walked a little round Yewtee Point and we just went gugu gaga over all the bags and shoes etc. I went” AHH! that bag so nice! ” and my mum said “Ya lah, if i didnt ask u to see, u also wouldnt see one right.” and stuff, and on the way back home-i filled her in about some of my class happenings- from how dumb some of my classmates can get (Opps! ) to the funny stories our teachers told us about. I really really enjoyed the time spent with my mum today! I know my mum hides her vulnerable side from this family perhaps due to dad’s absence- she feels that she needs to take responsibility to put up a strong front for this family.
I know she needs Jesus in her life! My entire family! Oh Lord, please make a way through this family! Lord, I pray that I won’t waiver no matter how many objections I faced, I really want to pass the ALL the tests you’ve given me. I want to see my family come to accept you!
Oh-oh! I’m getting naggy-super. Anw, It’s good to have so much said out hahha. Though this post might have showed my “cui-ness”, but hey I’m not afraid to let others know about my weaknesses! Which human being is perfect? Through all these, I know alot more can be done and Lord let me step out of my comfort zone to serve you to a greater extent! I love you Jesus!
OhhOHH! Also, I know this GREAT week that I have will not last long- because our christian life is not a bed of roses- but hey, it doesnt hurt much to have a better week than some other weeks right? Haha. Gearing myself up for God’s tests and moulding to take place. (:
Grey period.
Since I started this journey, I know it wasn’t a bed of roses. I mean my very first shepherd told me that. But I never expected to face so much trials and testings and problems. I wouldn’t dare to say that this is my lowest and darkest period, but I can say that this is a period where it’s enough to make me doubt myself. Sometimes, I just feel like I’m in a the grey area, I know I have to do this for God-but yet on the other hand, should I be doing this? I know I got to speak to this person about this-but on the other hand is this really what God wants to speak? The things that I get from God aren’t clear, and sometimes I don’t even know whether I’m doing the right thing. I want to rise disciples up, but I really really doubt my capabilities, just like what Xinru said-God I really really need your wisdom!! Perhaps I’ve been relying too much on my human efforts, I need to let God intervene BIG time. It’ll be another time of just spending time with God and hearing what He has to say. He will bring me through this period-that I have no doubt about it at all.
I just have to get my convictions right and burning again. (:
